eject

Saw some crazy stuff in Bahamas today…

Wed, 12 Jun 2013 17:38:56 -0600

Saw some crazy stuff in Bahamas today…

@shanenickerson thank you so much for that reddit link I have...

Wed, 15 May 2013 23:40:07 -0600

@shanenickerson thank you so much for that reddit link I have never laughed harder at a phone screen than when I read this

View more Kelly Oxford on WhoSay

Maybe a cool part about a kid saying they wish you were dead is when you then pretend to die &...

Sun, 05 May 2013 17:32:00 -0600

Maybe a cool part about a kid saying they wish you were dead is when you then pretend to die & they panic & then you laugh & laugh at them because what a liar.

Los Angeles, a lot of people are going to want a refund today.

Sun, 05 May 2013 09:20:05 -0600

Los Angeles, a lot of people are going to want a refund today.

This photo won't sell these shorts, shopping website.

Fri, 03 May 2013 22:23:00 -0600

I mean, if they look like this on a model…

Bea, age 4

Fri, 03 May 2013 17:31:00 -0600

Bea: Mom, what were the jerks names in your high school?
Me: There weren't any.
Bea: Wow! There were NO BOYS AT YOUR SCHOOL??

HE'S ALL OF US

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 11:30:56 -0600

"A good curse to put on your enemy is whatever curse someone put on Amanda Bynes."

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 16:17:00 -0600

“A good curse to put on your enemy is whatever curse someone put on Amanda Bynes.”

- Before curse:

AFTER CURSE:

I look like I’m shitting on the chair. (I didn’t)...

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 10:16:48 -0600

I look like I’m shitting on the chair. (I didn’t) (at Today Show)

Queen’s English! Holy Shit Canada!! Thank you!!

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 22:59:02 -0600

Queen’s English!
Holy Shit Canada!! Thank you!!

When Henry was 6

Thu, 21 Mar 2013 14:50:24 -0600

Me: You can make your own toast, but don't turn the dial up to ten. Ten burns the bread.

Henry: Then why is there a ten?

luckyshirt: You tried, dog.

Thu, 21 Mar 2013 11:10:42 -0600

luckyshirt:

You tried, dog.

After 15+ years of putting creative content online for free, I...

Thu, 21 Mar 2013 09:50:00 -0600

After 15+ years of putting creative content online for free, I managed to gain the attention of agent representation and sell my work to the American entertainment industry.
I chose to self-publish with no hopes of ever having a career, out of the sheer need to be creative (or lose my mind), and from that I inadvertently earned a career.

So yeah, alternrg, 100% a big fucking yes. I consider this is an accomplishment.

I’m on the front page of CNN.com and I didn’t even...

Wed, 20 Mar 2013 21:18:30 -0600

I’m on the front page of CNN.com and I didn’t even murder anyone.

View more Kelly Oxford on WhoSay

PRETENDERS + 90’s MOOD = THIS

Wed, 20 Mar 2013 12:33:59 -0600

PRETENDERS + 90’s MOOD = THIS

Can you imagine your mom, on the left, coming home and looking...

Fri, 15 Mar 2013 10:22:11 -0600

Can you imagine your mom, on the left, coming home and looking like the right? Gross.

Nice bracelet.View more Kelly Oxford on WhoSay

Thu, 14 Mar 2013 19:48:28 -0600

Nice bracelet.

View more Kelly Oxford on WhoSay

Not 100% certain or pleased that school applications ask for a...

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 11:23:39 -0600

Not 100% certain or pleased that school applications ask for a family photo, but 100% certain I am using this one.

View more Kelly Oxford on WhoSay

Sal made this while I was out.

Sat, 09 Mar 2013 19:47:27 -0700

Sal made this while I was out.

Canada, if you are trying to seduce me back, this is a step in...

Thu, 07 Mar 2013 10:40:30 -0700

Canada, if you are trying to seduce me back, this is a step in the right direction. ❤️🍁❤️