1. Sal (age 10) and I (age 33) watch Dirty Dancing together for the first time. (I'm no longer the only living white girl over 30 who hasn't seen it)

  2. Me: That would be a nice place to go on vacation.
  3. Sal: Seems boring.
  4. Me: It's nice there, it's a quaint mountain resort. I really like that her name is Baby.
  5. Sal: Why do the watermelons look like that, all long?
  6. Me: Oh God, you're right. Watermelons always used to look like that.
  7. Sal: They're all round now. Did they really used to be long?
  8. Me: Yeah, that's freaking me out. Science changed them, genetically modified.
  9. Sal: She's just going right into the staff area? BOLD!
  10. Me: WAIT. A. MINUTE. Look at them dancing. They're just rubbing their penises and vaginas on each other. No wonder all of my friends in Jr.High School loved this.
  11. Sal: Why is that girl crying.
  12. Me: They said she was 'knocked up', she's pregnant.
  13. Sal: Why is she flipping out about it.
  14. Me: It's a big deal, and it's 1963 so it's a bigger deal. Women could not have babies without husbands back then.
  15. Sal: Oh my god, in the old days you couldn't have sex until you were married!?!
  16. Me: We'll talk about this later.
  17. Sal: Wait, so Baby's going to take her place dancing so she can have an abortion? This is weird.
  18. Me: It's really funny.
  19. Sal: Why can she only do it on Thursday?? Can't she get it another day?
  20. Me: The guy said that was the only appointment that week.
  21. Sal: They could have waited.
  22. Me: I think he's going to kill Baby.
  23. Sal: Why are they fighting?
  24. Me: The botched abortion stressed them out. Oh, I have shorts like that. I'm going to call them my Baby shorts. I should totally buy all of these outfits from the movie and wear them all next summer.
  25. Sal: (seriously) No. Don't.
  26. Me: Why?
  27. Sal: I don't like them.
  28. Me: Baby touched his bum!
  29. Sal: Ohhhhh.
  30. Me: Baby's going to need to get an abortion.
  31. Sal: She can just get her Dad to do it, but he'll yell at her.
  32. Me: I think they might really be in love, Wow, so they are falling in love and having sex on the night their friend had a botched abortion?
  33. Sal: It brought them together. Who is that guy?
  34. Me: It's Johnny!
  35. Sal: There are too many guys in this movie, there are like 4 guys that look the same.Wait. Wasn't he just mad at Baby, not they're in bed again.
  36. Me: I wonder if Sarah Silverman has ever dressed up like Baby's sister Lisa when she sings "Hula Hana" for Halloween. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlT35Ote09c
  37. Sal: Oh she does look like her.
  38. Me: This is getting boring. But it's still a good summer movie.
  39. Sal: Where do the parents think Baby is going every night?
  40. Me: Her Dad is having a terrible vacation.
  41. Sal: Why doesn't Johnny just tell her Dad he didn't get the blondie pregnant.
  42. Me: Writers do that a lot, the accused doesn't defend himself because he is poor, or underprivileged or whatever, in comparison to the person accusing him. He'll figure it out later and feel bad.
  43. Sal: What?
  44. Me: Nevermind. The sister Lisa just said "You're pretty in your own way", that means "You're ugly"
  45. Sal: 'Shhhhe's like the wind!"
  46. Me: Weird, I like the "Nobody puts baby in the corner" part. I never thought that line would be good in any of the scenes I imagined it could be in.
  47. JAMES WALKS IN: Oh god, this is so CHEESY. Even at the time it was cheesy, right? The Righteous Brothers? Super lame. I've had the time of my life. Totally embarrassing.
  48. Sal: Oh my god, the Dad is mad again. At least he said he was wrong to Johnny.
  49. Me: Patrick Swayze looks Native American.
  50. Sal: I've never even heard this version of 'Time of my Life", I've only heard the Black Eyed Peas version.
  51. Me: You're living a tough life kid.
  52. Sal: Are there bloopers? I like it at the end when there are bloopers.


  53. 10 Aug 2011   216 notes  


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eject

kelly oxford



Twitter:@kellyoxford

1977
Writer
Previously described as: your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. Currently described as: your mom.
If I were a mood board you would see:
gold, klonopin, a photo of David Sedaris drinking my breast milk and more gold... gold forever.


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