I’m such an asshole
The 40 year old McDonalds drive-thru cashier saw Beatrix. A huge smile crawled across his face. He’s beaming.
Him: Oh!! A BABY!!
He leans out the window to see her, he waves at her enthusiastically, it’s honest.
Him: Hello little girl! HELLO!
He isn’t handicapped, he’s just into the baby, I don’t know. I figure there is a story there, so I pry.
Me: You like kids?
Him: I should, I have four.
Me: Wow four!
This is where I get all weird and ego-y and hate having one child with me when I have three. I hate thinking that people assume I only have one. I work harder than one.
Me: I have three. Mine are at school.
He smiles, kinda sadly, I notice it’s weird.
Him: What do you have?
Me: Girl, Boy, Girl. You?
Him: Four boys. 13,10, 7 and 5.
Me: That must be fun for you.
Him: They are in the Philippines. I haven’t seen them in 2 years.
We now have a weird pause. He looks into the backseat at Beatrix and smiles. His eyes get misty, I think. His body language changes, he drapes his right arm across his chest and holds his left shoulder, hugging himself.
Me: You have the internet though?
Him: Yes we Skype 2 times a day.
He says as he makes ‘prayer’ hands to the sky. What the fuck was I going to say if he said “I can’t afford the internet. I came to Canada and left my family for a good job at McDonalds.” I know I would have told him about the internet at the library, I’ve already thought of that.
On the drive home I think about it from different viewpoints:
“Oh that’s so horribly sad! He had to leave his kids to make money at a McDonalds in Canada!!”
“Oh how wonderful that he can move to Canada, get a job, send his family money until he can move them over here.”
“That guy forgot my second fry order”
I get home, open the door, and realize my house isn’t clean. The cleaning service comes once every 2 weeks, I forgot to unlock the door for them. I consider the cleaning service ‘my one luxury’. This is the worst thing that has happened to me in a few days.
When I was 14 I wouldn’t take a job at McDonalds because I felt it was beneath me.
I put my fries down on the floor and crash on the couch with my baby.
I’m such an asshole.
