1. Listening to my husband talk to himself as he watches Mad Men.

  2. James: Imagine if we just could just show these people the internet?
  3. James: (about christina hendricks) Oh my God. Look at her. Where did they find this woman?
  4. James: Look at the crotch in those pants.
  5. James: Joan looks like a porno Wilma Flintstone.
  6. James: Oh God, Megan's teeth look like Billy Bob teeth, or like Shane McGowan... if Shane McGowan was really pretty and spoke French.
  7. James: I'd screw Joan but I'd have to do it in the winter, because in the summer she'd get all sweaty. That's why her husband won't bring her to Vietnam.
  8. James: What the fuck?
  9. Me: He isn't really doing that. It's a hallucination, trust me. He's sick. I mean, where would Megan be?
  10. James: I don't think I've ever been so sick that I thought I fucked and murdered someone. Ever. I have NEVER been that sick.


  11. 08 Apr 2012   301 notes  


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eject

kelly oxford



Twitter:@kellyoxford

1977
Writer
Previously described as: your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. Currently described as: your mom.
If I were a mood board you would see:
gold, klonopin, a photo of David Sedaris drinking my breast milk and more gold... gold forever.


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