1. Open Letter to the Internet,

    News of my deal with NBC hit you today, and I think I understand why some people say stuff like this…

    "Because Twitter-account-based TV projects always turn out SO great!
    It’s amazing how NBC continues to pick up insanely mediocre comedies and kick shows like Community and Parks and Rec to the curb.”

    But I’m here to point out what the actual articles say but the readers seem to miss - that unlike “Shit My Dad Says”, I was not approached by producers to turn my tweets into a TV show-  though that would have been great too because I like money.
    (Also, re: Community/P&R comment, networks don’t cancel shows to make way for ‘mediocre comedy’, they cancel any show because of low numbers and I doubt that will ever change.)

    In Feb of 2010 I wrote a spec pilot, a screenplay, to get an agent… it got me an agent and then that  convinced me I could sell it, and I did- to CBS (after I sat in on 4 network meetings, pitching it on ativan, while holding in stress diarrhea.) This year I hustled and pitched like an asshole and left my kids with my family so I could meet with execs all over LA and this project came to fruition. I also wrote an entire book (not half a book.) Yes, I tweet, but I’m a writer who pounds the pavement and rents cars and drives all over LA with all of her stupid ideas who also happens to tweet.

    The ‘non famous person followed by famous people’ twitter thing sets me apart from the thousands of other writers out there working on pilots so (I assume) that is why Huffpo and Deadline and Reuters mention it. Fun mental image, but I don’t go into meetings wearing a twitter crown, talking about tweets, or how many followers I have. Twitter ‘broke’ who I was, and people will always be mad at me for that, but that’s not my problem. I’m a writer who is a housewife in Canada, the internet was my open mic and after years of using it, I was finally heard. I may use jokes in my screenplays that I’ve worked out on twitter, but that’s because my notepad is kind of public.. I guess it doesn’t really have to be, but I like Twitter. A lot.
    Some people do the groundlings, UCB or second city. Some people go to film school. I had babies and wrote screenplays, stories and blogs on my computer.

    Will it help some  gross jealous monsters people to know that I’ve only managed to sell 3 of my ideas after being in 46 rooms with execs? Probably. Enjoy that biscuit, cuties.

    So, Internet? I keep reading that my twitter feed is being turned into a TV show, and I will tell you here and now, if someone is turning my feed into a TV show I will sue that person because it isn’t me. I don’t even know what turning a twitter feed into a show means. Also, let’s all hold out on celebrating until NBC announces what pilots they are making this year.

    Yours forever I fucking love you internet,

  2. 20 Dec 2011   381 notes  


    1. fcwlove reblogged this from kellyoxford
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    9. themikesains reblogged this from kellyoxford and added:
      She’s a personal Hero of mine. Get with ti.
    10. thinkingatspeed said: I’ll admit I had a WTF moment when I saw the blurb. Not because I thought you were converting your Twitter feed into a TV show(?!). It’s just that you are too smart and too funny for mainstream TV, which must appeal to LCD to get the big numbers…
    11. dlbags said: Good for you. Remember the best revenge is a life well lived. Live your life and let the scorekeepers keep score and miss out because as the kids say the “haters gon’ hate”. Stay gold Pony Boy. PS- I love Community but their journey isn’t your prob


kelly oxford


Previously described as: your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. Currently described as: your mom.
If I were a mood board you would see:
gold, klonopin, a photo of David Sedaris drinking my breast milk and more gold... gold forever.

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